 |
| Marcel Strigberger |
Shortly after getting called to the bar in the mid 1970s, I borrowed the 1908 edition of this opus from the local law library. Don’t ask me why. I did have some downtime on my hands due to an underabundance of business. And it’s not as if I expected a deluge of clients banging at my door with their equine problems. In my 43 years in the downtown Toronto area, not one person called me saying, “Can you help me? My horse Ned was crossing Bay and King on a green light when he was struck by a speeding stallion.”
Maybe I borrowed the book just for a fun read. There started my problem. I did not return it for about 12 years, when I came across it while moving offices. Not totally my fault. I never received a reminder from the library that it was overdue. The librarian could have called me saying something like, “Hey Strigberger. There are lots of lawyers on the wait list for this book. Have you no consideration?” Nothing. Crickets.
And when I did return the book, I did so in a stealth manner, sneaking it onto a shelf in the basement stacks. Bada bing, bada boom.
Am I guilty of any offence? I asked my number one go-to for legal advice: ChatGPT. The answer I got was, “Failing to return a library book for 12 years is not a crime per se. However, shame on you.” Who ever said AI has no scruples?
And even though it may not be a crime, could it entail disciplinary action by the law society? I did have visions of a hearing with the disciplinary panel ruling that I was guilty of “conduct unbecoming of a lawyer.” After all, the benchers have to earn their rights to that infamous wine cellar in the depths of their lair at Osgoode Hall.
However, as I said, I did want to come clean at one point, like that guilt-ridden character in Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment, Raskolnikov. But I decided to wait until I was a few years safely into my retirement.
My confession here was sparked by an article I read the other day, where a book checked out in 1943 from a library in San Antonio, Texas, was recently returned 82 years overdue with a note saying, “Sorry, grandma is not around anymore to pay for this.”
I will say this story does make me feel more relieved. Until now, I thought I had a record for tardy library book return. It seems neither I nor grandma hold the official record.
Guinness World Records says the most overdue library book was returned to Sidney Sussex College, University of Cambridge, England, in 1956. It was borrowed in 1668, some 288 years earlier. Good thing the perpetrators and their descendants waited this long; they could have been sentenced to a one-way trip to Australia.
The Oliphant book, incidentally, is still available for sale on Amazon. I checked out the listing and did not see any reviews at all. No clue why. I don’t know about you, but I would not bet the family farm that this book will hit the New York Times bestseller list.
Marcel Strigberger retired from his Greater Toronto Area litigation practice and continues the more serious business of humorous author and speaker. His book, Boomers, Zoomers, and Other Oomers: A Boomer-biased Irreverent Perspective on Aging, is available on Amazon (e-book) and in paper version. His new(!) book First, Let’s Kill the Lawyer Jokes: An Attorney’s Irreverent Serious Look at the Legal Universe is available on Amazon, Apple and other book places. Visit www.marcelshumour.com. Follow him on X @MarcelsHumour.
The opinions expressed are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the author’s firm, its clients, Law360 Canada, LexisNexis Canada or any of its or their respective affiliates. This article is for general information purposes and is not intended to be and should not be taken as legal advice.
Interested in writing for us? To learn more about how you can add your voice to Law360 Canada, contact Analysis Editor Peter Carter at peter.carter@lexisnexis.ca or call 647-776-6740.