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| Marcel Strigberger |
So, how about we talk about walruses?
Travel alerts
A tourist visiting the Norwegian archipelago of Svalbard was fined 12,500 Norwegian kroner (about 900 euros or about 1,350 of our loonies) for venturing out onto an ice floe and disturbing a walrus. He apparently violated some local law designed not to disturb wildlife. I can’t tell what the walrus was doing before the rogue visitor disturbed him. I doubt he was deep in concentration playing a game of chess with countryman Grandmaster and former world champion Magnus Carlsen. (Actually, I can visualize that scene).
But given that summer is approaching and many of us are planning our vacations, I thought it useful to post this warning for anybody planning to spend some time in Svalbard. You are on notice. I suggest if you must travel to that archipelago, do not approach a walrus on an ice floe and yell, “Yo Wally!” — $1,350 is not chicken scratch. Nor camel scratch.
And speaking of camels, you might be considering a trip to China’s Kumtag Desert, located in the northwestern province of Gansu. Tens of thousands of people flock to the large nature park annually. To ease traffic, the local government has brought in camels allowing visitors to ride through the place on these dromedaries rather than via motor vehicles. However, the result so far has been camel jams. Recently someone came up with the idea of installing traffic lights along the route. The camels can go ahead on a green light but if it’s red, they must stop and allow pedestrians to cross the road. I don’t know the penalty for going through a red light. I imagine if there is an accident, the statement of claim will read something like, “The defendant was negligent in that he did not keep a proper lookout, disobeying a camel traffic signal.” Lawyers are talented in adapting pleadings.
I wonder whether the area will be monitored by police. If so, they will likely conduct a clandestine operation, maybe hide inside an adjacent roadside cabin that looks like a camel. This will likely fool many violators. Beats a camera.
I’m sure you don’t want to get a ticket for violating the traffic signals. If nothing else it might affect your insurance back home. If your car insurance questionnaire asks if, in the last three years, you were convicted of going through a red light, you may have to disclose that violation at the camel crossing in Gansu province.
And so, if a camel ride through the Kumtag Desert is on your bucket list, know the risks. A fine may be fine, but what if your trip risks you going to jail?
This is exactly what might happen to a British national, Alexander, who posted negative likely false comments on Trip Advisor about an Italian restaurant in Thailand. He apparently rented a place in Phuket and to access it quicker, he had to pass through this restaurant. This did not sit well with the owner and after barring the guy from passing through, Alexander proceeded to hit back by doing a number of spiteful Trip Advisor reviews. These lead to a serious Google ratings drop. Alexander was eventually tracked down and arrested and charged with “entering false information into a computer system in a way that is likely to cause damage to others ...” He could get two years in the slammer for this.
I don’t know what he posted. Maybe he said something like, “I wouldn’t feed that place’s ravioli to my dog.” Who knows? I doubt he said, “Lousy restaurant; they don’t let me use it as a shortcut to my pad.”
Travel to Phuket is not on my bucket list. But if it is on yours, be careful what you post on these business review sites. Even if you visit a restaurant and you find something wrong with the fish and the manager does not respond satisfactorily to your complaint, and you feel that you just have to submit an online review, you’d best use your good judgment. Say something like, "That boiled tilapia is fish to die for.”
I trust these travel alerts will be useful to anybody planning a trip to any of these exotic places. Meanwhile, as I write, I cannot get out of my mind an image of seeing that walrus on the ice floe playing chess with Magnus Carlsen.
Marcel Strigberger retired from his Greater Toronto Area litigation practice and continues the more serious business of humorous author and speaker. For more vital musings on travel, check out his book Poutine on the Orient Express: An Irreverent Look at Travel, on Amazon (e-book) and in paper version. Visit www.marcelshumour.com. Follow him @MarcelsHumour. And FYI, expect the new book, First, Let's Kill the Lawyer Jokes: An Attorney's Irreverent Serious Look at the Legal Universe., to launch in the summer.
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