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| Marcel Strigberger |
This cat came back. Yes! I speak of Nub Tang, a tabby from Bangkok, Thailand. She strayed from home and then was rescued and brought to a police station. Ms. Tang, however, got a bit feisty with the police officers, going on a rampage and scratching and biting a few of them. One officer, Da Parinda Pakeesuk, who loves animals, decided to have some fun, so he charged Nub Tang with assault. Pakeesuk actually took mug shots of the feline, as well as paw prints. He then took her to his home for the night. The cat’s owner was located, and she and the police were all smiles. I’m happy to see that Nub Tang made bail, released on her own recognizance.
Of interest to me is that the police had the time and leisure to jest about the incident. I would say this gesture of not taking themselves too seriously is commendable. Presumably, they were not distracted with some frivolous 911 calls about a crime nearby. I can just hear the staff sergeant responding, “Tell the bank we’ll send a unit out soon. We’re all out now looking for Purina.”
And speaking of banks, Nub Tang incidentally means “counting money” in Thai. This is certainly quite different from cat names such as Bella, Luna or Chloe.
The cat’s owner was lucky. The cat’s actions could easily have been visited upon her. I wonder what would have happened had the cat been a Cheshire cat. As the police are about to touch her, she vanishes, leaving only a large grin in the air. I can only imagine their reaction. My proficiency in the Thai language is not up to speed, so I can’t translate the lingo, “I tawt I taw a puddy tat.” The excited police would probably charge the owner with some frightening provision of the Thai criminal code. There may even be a section that reads something like, “Scaring a police officer with the use of a Cheshire cat grin is punishable by a fine not exceeding $5000.” I have to dive into this one a bit deeper.
Some animal owners try to take their animals anywhere under the guise of these creatures being service animals. A gentleman in Philadelphia sought entry into a Phillies’ ball game with his “service” alligator, Wally. No doubt the man assured security Wally was safe. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. He would just lounge in the bleachers, peacefully nibbling on some peanuts and crackerjack. Unfortunately for the owner, he and Wally were turned back. I, for one, would not feel comfortable watching nine innings with an alligator breathing down my neck. I would be very wary. If a foul ball came flying out near me, I would never attempt to beat Wally to it. I have two hands, and I’d like to keep it that way.
And how do the courts deal with animal liability cases? I have concluded that the law does not really matter much. It gets down to the human element, i.e., any prejudices the judge might harbour.
For example, I once had a non-jury dog-bite trial. I opened with, “My client was delivering a pizza when suddenly the defendant’s dog, a Rhodesian ridgeback, lunged and bit him. Rhodesian ridgebacks were actually bred in Africa to hunt lions. They’re highly dangerous.”
At that point, the judge interjected, “Ahem. No, they’re not. My daughter has a Rhodesian ridgeback, and he’s as gentle as a lamb.” I can say my confidence in the case did a 180-degree turn. I suddenly wished I had opted for a trial by jury. At least there would have been a chance that one or two jurors might have once worked for Domino’s. We lost this case, His Honour finding no evidence of the dog’s predisposition to maul unsuspecting deliverers of pizza. Judicial bias? Perish the thought.
This discussion about animals brings Noah to mind. How in the world did he manage to gather and care for all those animals? Maybe his first mate was Doctor Dolittle.
Marcel Strigberger retired from his Greater Toronto Area litigation practice and continues the more serious business of humorous author and speaker. His book, Boomers, Zoomers, and Other Oomers: A Boomer-biased Irreverent Perspective on Aging, is available on Amazon (e-book) and in paper version. His new(!) book First, Let’s Kill the Lawyer Jokes: An Attorney’s Irreverent Serious Look at the Legal Universe is available on Amazon, Apple and other book places. Visit www.marcelshumour.com. Follow him on X @MarcelsHumour.
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